I recently read a post that read when someone says "you've changed" it simply means you've stopped living your life their way. The next time you receive that feedback be sure to say, "Thanks for noticing."
How often do you resist making the changes you desire in your life because you fear being judged by people around you? Are you so concerned about looking good or being right that you never take a REAL risk? Not a foolish gamble, a genuine high-stakes investment for your future. Well now’s the time!
This week’s Sun-day design is self-assurance. More than confidence, self-assurance is about trusting yourself, your judgment, and your abilities. Think about a critical decision you need to make. How can you trust yourself enough to know that no matter what you will be all right?
What’s the decision you been wavering on? That huge life changing event or experience that can take you to the next level. You probably haven’t shared it with anyone because you’re secretly scared no will understand or support your point of view. Deep down you know the answer and sadly don’t believe in your capacity to choose what’s right for yourself. Once you have that decision or choice in you mind write a list of Pros and Cons – for and against that decision. Then for each Con you’ve listed write an alternative solution, which will help you create what I call a fail-forward plan.
A fail-forward plan looks something like this: if X happens, then you can redirect to Y or Z. Here’s an example of when I had to engage a fail-forward plan:
Pros: Higher salary, smart people, dynamic work, senior leadership position
Cons: Start-up department requires me to do everything, more travel than expected, no work-life balance/choice
Fail-forward Plan: I’ll give it 3 months or 1 year to leave. I choose 3 months!
Reaction from others: “Wow, you’ve changed. You don’t seem as career driven”.
Self-assured response: “I am focused on my career and my family more than ever. Taking charge of my career allows me to be the kind of mother I intend to be”.
Of course I was concerned about the “blip” on my resume and it totally played on my self-assurance. I feared what other people would say about my leaving so soon. I worked through my list of pros and cons and trusted that while that job was a “failure” I could still move onward and upward. It was the best decision to make.
Now you’re ready! Write your list, address the Cons, and make a choice. Post your verdict in the comments below.
I love this time of the year! My son is on summer break from school, we've reviewed his report card - celebrated his achievements and thanked the heavens the tough academic drudgery has ended for a little while. For adults this period marks the middle of the calendar year, also a time to celebrate success, get back on track (again), refine dreams, and begin to push further, faster, grasping, and going for more.
If you’ve been playing this game called life, then you’ve been working hard and there’s a point where you’ve got exactly what you wanted. The very thing you've been laboring over and wishing for. So now what? If you rest on your laurels you can loose everything you’ve worked so long to achieve. No, it’s time to keep growing and learning, taking your life to the next level. This week’s Sun-day design is all about ascension.
Think about an area of your life where you’re rocking it out, really thriving even beyond your dreams. Now create a list of 3 ways you can take it to the next level. You may feel things are good where they are, I want to even go past your version of success. Are you saving more than you initially planned, then raise your financial goals for the year. Did you fall in love even as you swore off dating, now create a love dream for how you want to show up in your new relationship. Let me share a personal example of what I mean. I feel really good about my relationship with my son and I want to strengthen it further. We’ve recently had great conversations about life, love, being a teenager, building his future and even mine when he leaves for college. In taking my life as a parent to the next level I’m choosing to:
Life is a journey; our dreams a vehicle to experience our life lessons. There is no single destination; simply what we and love we pick up along the way. Let’s honor what’s working in our lives. Don’t stop, keep on, ascend.
Which area of your life are you ready to push forward? Leave a comment below.
If you're like me your days are way beyond busy, sometimes life can feel like a video stream on fast-forward – reaching the end of the week with flashbacks of unremarkable moments. Despite your best directorial efforts too many actors want their screen time and no one’s appreciating this flick. Even your down time involves doing something for someone else – your kids, parents, partner, even that one friend who insists on vying for your time and attention despite your polite pleas for pardon. You find yourself stressed, happy, excited, and worried that vacation can’t come soon enough. And you’re right you need a break now!
This week's Sun-day design stillness, which is exactly the place you’ll find your much needed reprieve. I want you to pause, sit still, listen, and learn. Introduce yourself to you. Say hello. Hear the sound of your breath, see how tight you hold your shoulders or clench your jaw when some thoughts come to mind. Click HERE learn ways to relax and create a mini-vacation in your week.
Take a look at your schedule for the coming week. Now find 30 minutes out of the 10,080 available to just sit still. No talking, no TV, no ear buds, just YOU. If possible do this exercise outside. Watch the trees in the wind, the branches stretch out long to kiss the sun. Feel the earth beneath you. Watch the world, star gaze.
This is not meditation. I want you to be totally in tuned of your inner and outer world. What do you notice? What captures your attention when you’re alone with your own thoughts? Do you immediately start worrying about work, other people.
Catch yourself and try to bring the focus back to you. Consider:
If you can, write in a journal your responses to these questions. Take note of what you learn about yourself. Show yourself some gratitude for your amazing body that despite your complaints about its size and shape takes care of you.
Resist the urge to get up and move. This is the one vacation where you want to lose your baggage.
Share your experience in the comments below.
If you could describe the love of your life in 10 words or less, would you say it’s joyous, profound, sexy, loyal, desirable, perfect or lonely, frustrating, sad, nonexistent?
Whether you're single or spoken for in our heart of hearts we are all searching for our penguin. We all desire a person in our life that loves us as we are and as we intend to be. They see our beauty where we can only see flaws. They lift our spirits, encourage, protect and provide. This week's Sun-day design is a reflection of love.
Think about the person you’re married to, seeing, or most recently dated. Is this person a penguin, barely present, or just passing through? Penguins typically mate for life and most of their species are serial monogamists. We can learn a lot from penguins. In thinking about your own mate here are few question to consider in translating their love language into your world:
If you can respond yes to these questions your on the right track! Your penguin brings more than money, cars, or status. In your relationships you feel connected, valued, and secure. This doesn't mean you and your partner won't have things to work on or want to improve. It means that you're consciously committing to designing a life together. If you’re married or seeing someone, make sure you're supporting one another's dreams. making each person a priority. If you’re dating or venturing into the dating world use this checklist to help you look for qualities that are worthy of a mate for life.
If you’ve found your penguin or just started looking share your story by leaving a comment below.
Everyone gets “writers block” even if you’re not a writer! Teachers, artists, computer programmers, your profession too, we all hit a creative wall. You stare at a blank page at a loss for how to find that spark in your work again. Whatever the work you do - or desire to do, I know you want to inspire others and feel inspired in the process. You secretly hope your services, products, kind words you share, and performances you create impacts peoples lives. You have a message to get out and this creative void is a complete drain!
So what do you do when that connection feels broken, the ideas no longer flow, and the well of dreams runs dry? The answer is simple. When you're stuck in a creative rut you need to get up and get out. Move your body, change your environment, and shift your perspective. The Sun-day design for this week is to move your body and get the creative juices flowing again!.
Whatever mental block you have this week you're going to dance your way through it. I want you to notice where things feel stuck in your life. Are you have trouble sleeping, having heart palpations when you even think about what’s coming down the pike, or frustrated because you just can't come up with new and fresh ideas for your business? Write it down, exactly where you feel stuck. For example “I've committed to participate in KowTeffs' Juneteenth Celebration and have no idea how I'll present coaching in a fun and meaningful way”. Totally my place of panic and yes, I've danced my way through it.
My new friend Audrey reminded me how vital dance is in our lives. It can literally inspire and save your life or at least your sanity. Now I want you to dance, put on the music and just move. If you're really feeling frisky then try a free local dance class. Interrupt your normal fitness routine with something new. If dancing is not your thing, then move your body and make it fun and creative. Race with your kids down the street! Break out a hula-hoop, play hopscotch or take in a game of street ball now that the high school kids are out of school, the competition should be really interesting.
Remember you don’t have to love, like it, or commit to it beyond this one time. Mov your body, feel the music, and get those creative juices going. And after your awe-inspiring dance, revisit the note where wrote down what you're struggling with and see how much easier it is to come up with ideas you didn’t think were possible before.
For more inspiration on movement take a look at Misty Copeland’s book A Life in Motion. Learn more about the things she's danced her way through too, or even better go see her live in motion at the American Ballet Theater in New York.
Be sure to share your dance-story in the comments below.
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.