I recently read a post that read when someone says "you've changed" it simply means you've stopped living your life their way. The next time you receive that feedback be sure to say, "Thanks for noticing."
How often do you resist making the changes you desire in your life because you fear being judged by people around you? Are you so concerned about looking good or being right that you never take a REAL risk? Not a foolish gamble, a genuine high-stakes investment for your future. Well now’s the time!
This week’s Sun-day design is self-assurance. More than confidence, self-assurance is about trusting yourself, your judgment, and your abilities. Think about a critical decision you need to make. How can you trust yourself enough to know that no matter what you will be all right?
What’s the decision you been wavering on? That huge life changing event or experience that can take you to the next level. You probably haven’t shared it with anyone because you’re secretly scared no will understand or support your point of view. Deep down you know the answer and sadly don’t believe in your capacity to choose what’s right for yourself. Once you have that decision or choice in you mind write a list of Pros and Cons – for and against that decision. Then for each Con you’ve listed write an alternative solution, which will help you create what I call a fail-forward plan.
A fail-forward plan looks something like this: if X happens, then you can redirect to Y or Z. Here’s an example of when I had to engage a fail-forward plan:
Pros: Higher salary, smart people, dynamic work, senior leadership position
Cons: Start-up department requires me to do everything, more travel than expected, no work-life balance/choice
Fail-forward Plan: I’ll give it 3 months or 1 year to leave. I choose 3 months!
Reaction from others: “Wow, you’ve changed. You don’t seem as career driven”.
Self-assured response: “I am focused on my career and my family more than ever. Taking charge of my career allows me to be the kind of mother I intend to be”.
Of course I was concerned about the “blip” on my resume and it totally played on my self-assurance. I feared what other people would say about my leaving so soon. I worked through my list of pros and cons and trusted that while that job was a “failure” I could still move onward and upward. It was the best decision to make.
Now you’re ready! Write your list, address the Cons, and make a choice. Post your verdict in the comments below.
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.