My birthday celebration culminated with my attending Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend. Of all the wonderful experiences I had one of the biggest gifts I left with was a reminder that you have to put in the work, spend the time, and your own mental, physical, and spiritual energy to achieve your dreams. This is a process none of us gets to skip over.
As I reflect on this year, building my business, expanding my career, being a mother, partner, and better friend, each situation takes some level of risk, an ounce of faith, and a huge dose of self-awareness. In this week's Sun-day design I want you to get clear on just what it is you're willing to risk in order to live out your dreams. What will it take for your to be about it and not just dream about it?
The first step is simple you have to clear up space. Like ordering a new piece of furniture you may have to get rid of what’s in the house to make sure your new additions fit in. This means you have to find at least the one thing or one person you’re wiling to release from your life. As much as you’ve loved that favorite thing it is no longer part of the vision you hold for your life. This may be a small risk to take if it’s a matter of reallocating your time or a huge risk if it means saying farewell to someone you love. It's a risk either way because you don’t know for certain what’s on the other side. Taking a risk requires faith, commitment, and self-assurance.
If I were to tell you the ratio of risk will reflect your percentage of reward, then how much would you be willing to put on the table? This year has required me to be brave, to take lots of risks and I’m happy to say I am reaping the benefits. How do I know, well - you're reading this blog is a reflection of the love, time, and energy I pour into my business and our connection is a reflection of that reward.
Yesterday was my birthday and I am blessed with friends who encouraged me to slow down, celebrate and truly honor life. Many years my birthday passed by with small celebrations, as mothers tend to do when they focus so much time and energy on their kids. As my son gets older and I recapture time I haven’t had in years. I can now choose with a sense of freedom and creativity, what I want to do with my time. In this week's Sun-day design I want you to join me in choosing how you spend time on you, just think of it as a little birthday gift to me.
My one wish for you is to find a sliver of time that you can dedicate to you and something you love. For my birthday I chose dinner with friends and 2 days at Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend. Taking time for you may mean les time for your family, kids, or coworkers. The activity you choose will recharge you, infusing with more love and energy, which everyone around you benefits from. Here are some other ideas for celebrating you:
Whatever activity you decide on, let it awaken your spirit and nourish your soul.
How often do you tell someone the cold hard truth? Think about the frustration you hold even for the people you love and adore. If you find the mere sight or text from a person ignites feelings of annoyance, anger, or frustration it's time to have a real heart felt conversation. If you continue to bottle up that volcano of emotion, it will eventually blow causing you to say something you'll regret.
Speaking your truth does not mean you should be bossy or rude. It's about being honest with the reason behind your feeling, thoughts, and behavior. Taking off the mask and saying what you really feel instead of what you think you should say is freeing for both you and the other person. For example, the truth is you criticized your friend's outfit because you're unhappy with your own weight. Sharing your weight struggle from a place of power instead of cowardice can strengthen your relationship and get you support toward your goals which is what you really need. In this week's Sun-day design speak your truth and finally address that issue that's been filling your heart with angst.
To prepare for a truth filled conversation - even with yourself answer these five questions:
1. The person I'm most upset with is _________________.
2. I'm so upset with this person because ________________.
3. I know this person is being selfish because ________________.
4. If this person really cared for me (s)he would __________________.
5. This person can express a sincere apology by ______________.
Now replace "this person" with your own name so that you can get clear on why you're so upset within yourself. Keep the answers you inserted to the questions above and consider the real source of your anger, frustration or sadness.
1. The person I'm most upset with is ME.
2. I'm so upset with ME because ________________.
3. I know I'M being selfish because ________________.
4. If I loved me I would __________________.
5. I can express a sincere apology by ______________.
The truth is the thing that has you angry with another person is the very thing you're doing too. Resolving conflict with others means telling the truth about your own role in it. Showing the other person as well as yourself some love and compassion will go a long way in healing your heart and the relationship.
Remember, the Universe gives you…you.
The more you invest in yourself, your growth and evolution the more you find you no longer fit the construct of who some people believe you should be. Your joy becomes their irritation and instead of pursuing their own goals to rise to their next level they'll do whatever they can to bring you down. They may not be obvious or aggressively confrontational, their tactics show up as whispers, questions, and conversations peppered with salty undertones.
In this week's Sun-day design I want you to protect your mojo. Deal with your detractors head on. The closer you get to realizing your dreams the more adamant their efforts to undermine your success.
Recently I was at an event where a woman who has known me for quite some time questioned the success of my coaching practice and expressed her doubt for my personal ambitions. My first reaction was to cop an attitude and brag about the love I hold for my clients and all their success, but then I quickly remember her questions and her stance about my practices was about her not me. I shifted my mindset to focus on listening with an open heart and mind, and used this conversation as an opportunity for me to learn. In approaching her questions from a place of curiosity and not adversity, I could better understand questions and concerns that people who aren't my clients may have and never verbalize.
There's no doubt you will meet haters and naysayers across your path too. Protect your light and approach even difficult conversations as a learning experience. Be sure to:
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.