Do you know the answer to this question? How would your partner or most recent date respond to this question about you? When you think about the ways in which you show up your relationships it's easy to see all the things you do right because you count your intention as much as you merit your delivery. You give yourself credit for effort, for trying to give your love, support, compassion, loyalty, trust, etc. You may even be mindful of your triggers and blind-spots that show up as bursts of anger or depression, frustrated with the other person's lack of support, compassion, loyalty, or partnership. As we close the Hallmark month for love, and in this week's Sun-day design I want you to take stock in how do you love.
More than who do you love, that's only one part of the equation. The bigger question or lesson to learn is why you attracted this person to your life in the first place. Ultimately that relationship - for no matter how long our in it - is designed to show you the parts of you that need to grow. Here's an exercise to help you figure out how you love. Take a piece of paper and divide it in three columns. In the first section, list everything you love about your partner, or the things you did enjoy about the other person your most recently dated. Appreciate that list for just one moment.
Next list the very things you complain or are concerned about when it comes to your partner, love interest, or most recent date. You will notice some things on your list are small and petty but over time the negative feelings they create explode over time. Now is the fun part. In the third column list all the ways you are guilty of the indiscretions listed in column two. For example, the person you dated was financially irresponsible, wasting well earned money on frivolous purchases in your eyes. That may be true, and ask yourself where are you frivolous too. Is it with your diet, your time, your talent? As much as you want to be loved despite your shortcomings, as how do you love your partner in the midst of theirs. Leave a comment and share the way your current love relationship is a reflection of you.
Happy Valentine's Day Weekend! As you continue your celebration of life and love I hope you spend this week attracting, creating, and maintaining the excitement of real authentic love. The art and practice of love begins with the love that you give to you. To experience the intimate and profound love you desire from others you have to be ready and willing to create it within yourself. The experience of love resonates in your brain and your body. As you romance with your mind give your body some attention too.
In this week's Sun-day design learn to adore you body and find 50 places to touch and express your warmth and gratitude. Play with a partner or engage the healing power of massage on your own. Open up the gateway to love by awakening the energy and possibility ready in each of your cells. Like a mother caressing her newborn baby this purpose of this practice is to stimulate growth and a deeper bond. You spend so much time wanting to shape and control the bond you have with others you forget the source of the bond is any relationship is the one your first create with yourself.
So here's the plan, start with each of your toe and work your way up. Give special attention to your heel, ankles, and arches. Your legs, knees and thighs get some quality time too. Each finger, each elbow, each ear, scalp and face is stroked. Tummy time, try using your fingertips to write "I love you" across your ribs. Whichever area you choose to start is up to you. For further guidance click here to learn more about Abhyanga, the Ayurveda practice for giving yourself a warm oil massage, from Deepak Chopra's Center. The Ayurveda approach begins from the scalp to the toes, I say design your massage to your heart's desire. Share your approach to self care and the gratitude you show your body this week!
Baby it's cold outside which means too many hours in your day is spent surrounded by four walls. The constant blasts of wind and snow here in the northeast translate to stale recycled air, comfort food frenzies, and stagnant mind and bodies.
Staying inside can stifle your energy and creativity so it's time to play outside. You need the cool fresh air to cleanse your mind and your body. The cold weather can present a challenge to outdoor excursions especially if it requires some serious safety precautions. So ice storms aside, in this week's Sun-day design I want you to give yourself a play-date...outside. Find some outdoor activity that brings you new light and renewed energy. Go outside, window shop, star gaze, experience the environment.
You've already spent a lot of time this year planning your life, considering what you want to lose (e.g., weight) and what you hope to gain (e.g., money), time to go for living your life. You forget how to feel and love life. Pick one day this week, for 15 minutes, in the rain, sleet or snow, find a low-key, low-cost way to connect with nature. Catch a snowflake on your tongue. Rake your hands in a soft pillow of snow. Walk slowly through the snow or if you're brave head to the park and roll down a hill. Get wet, get dirty, and let your inner child run wild. Leave a comment and let us know what you did outdoors for fun!
There is no single word in the English language that fully encapsulates the meaning of dharma. The perspective of dharma I want you to seek this week is to realize your dharma or "right way of living". I'm not suggesting there is one right way of living for all, there a way of living your life that feels right to you.
This is the dharma you get to design, and figuring out the right way of living is just one part of the process. The second and most essential step is knowing what to do when your plan goes awry and that right way of living seems impossible to live up to. In this week's Sun-day design I want you to design your dharma by making sure your plan includes your Plan B.
How do you design your dharma? You know my answer: Dream. Discover. Design. Love your dream, be clear about your desire. Discover who you are in that dream and the traps you set up for yourself and design your plan around them. You have to your resiliency map at-hand. That's right! To maintain your dharma - your truth - you need to have a Plan B. Plan A is already posted on your vision board. It's in the list of goals you wrote out for the year a few weeks ago. Plan B is for the moments of stress, storms, distractions or your downright stubbornness that convinces you give in and give up. Plan B stands for Plan to B ON IT! Your plan B should be like the app on your phone ready at your fingertips.
Examine your dreams and goals and ask your self, are these the right aspirations for me? And if the answer is yes, take the next step to create that Plan B. What will you do when the path to your dream seems plagued with setbacks. Inspire others with your Plan B On It in the comments below.
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.