I love my work in helping clients design their dreams! I've used techniques to help them get clear and feel alive creating vision boards to manifest their life goals and inspiring action for when the road ahead gets tough. I want to share this transformative experience with a community of "loving your life designers". Before the holiday season officially begins, give yourself the gift of designing your next year.   
In this week's Sun-day design I invite you to join me for my annual Design Your Year event, taking place at the Affinia 50 in NYC. Seats are limited and I'm offering $10 off to the first five people to purchase tickets. Simply use the discount code: DESIGN2O15. If you would like to learn more about the Design Your Year event play the video below and visit the Design Your Year event page.

I'm sure you've at some point stepped outside your comfort zone and reaped the benefits for doing so. But sometimes your dreams and aspirations require you to leap because stepping outside your box isn't enough. Life compels you to do more, to be more, to stretch beyond your conceivable reach.

I jumped outside my box and experienced a professional stylist and her team of hair and make-up gurus help Design Me! Now of course the voice of my superwoman gremlin tried to convince me this is not something I need. My counter talk was that maybe just maybe if I relinquish control and step into the unknown I’ll receive unexpected blessings in return. In this week's Sun-day design I want you to jump outside your box and take on something you said you'd never do. 

Create a list of things you said you’d never do. I don’t mean something like you’ll never jump off a building. Your list will be outliers to your dream that you deny and resist. If you’d like to be entrepreneur what are the products and services you convince yourself would never sell. If you dream of starting a family, what are you doing to prepare for parenthood? For me, my dream is building my brand, that requires me to live outside the box it built. Now make your list and do one thing this week. Even if you don’t like it and decide you will never do that again, the act, the process of opening yourself up to receiving more insights, opportunities and learning experiences is well worth it!

It’s easy to say sorry when you accidentally bump into someone or spill a drink in his or her lap. It’s not so simple when you’re in a battle of wills and believe in your heart the other person is in the wrong. Even when it’s clear how each of you contribute to the problem, it’s still a challenge to verbalize an apology – AND to leave it at that. Not “I’m sorry, but you…” or “I did it because you…”

In this week’s Sun-day design I want you to finally address that situation where you need to simply apologize for your part. The goal isn’t to fix the issue or start an argument, it's to fully own up to your part and release yourself from the contentious burden you both share. 

Earlier this week I apologized to my son for a time when I didn’t fully support his request to change schools. Oh, I did the basic stuff – set up an application for the school of his choice and paid for him to take the entrance exam, but I didn’t whole heartedly support his choice and he knew it. In the end he changed his mind but I hadn't lived up to my own expectations for being a mother who fully supports her son. While this happened years ago I hadn’t apologized until recently, and in doing so fully closed the door on that event. Lesson learned. And we are closer and our conversation more heart felt. Here’s what you can also do to facilitate that dialogue too with someone in your life too:

1. Figure out what you feared that caused you to respond or behave the way you did. Fear is the greatest motivator and is the driver behind most decisions.
2. Open the conversation by telling the other person you only want to apologize for your part, and not justify your behavior.
3. Hold the other person’s hand as you begin the dialogue. There is great power in touching someone (appropriately) and sharing your warmth and intention.
4. Make the apology specific and describe what you did or said that contributed to him or her feeling misunderstood, unsupported, unloved.
5. Thank the other person for listening and being part of this life lesson.

That apology serves as an offering of positivity in you and the other person life, and that energy will come back to you ten-fold. Be sure to share your stories of apology and affirmation.

What are you afraid of? What would happen if you finally faced that fear? If that seems like a daunting task then I’ve got an easy answer for you. Whenever you’re apprehensive about taking action for fear of failure or fear of success resolve your angst by fudging your fear. Just think about it, just like fudge your fears seem savory, deliciously justifiable, and once it latches on it takes a good scrubbing to get off.

In this week’s Sun-day design I want you to take a lesson from fudge and appreciate the taste of fear for just one sweet moment. The key is to not overindulge. A little fudge is fun, a nice addition to an already sweet dish. I want you to view your fear in the same delectable way. Your fears are merely an added layer of caution and as with too much fudge, too much fear can cause you lots of grief and stomach pain.

A little fear and caution makes good sense - no one would suggest you walk down a dark alley oblivious to your surroundings. But terror for things big and small things alike call for closer examination. So first let’s start by naming your fears. Where do you shut down and avoid pursuing at all costs? You can figure out your most disabling fear - at least the more recent one, by asking yourself what’s the biggest goal or dream you hold and still don’t have. The answer is not about skill, or your personality, or your access to money or fame. What’s holding your back is your belief in what you feel you lack or don’t deserve. 

You can face your fear by savoring it like fudge. Indulge a taste or two then close the jar and put it away until next time. Find your sweet spot of fear, the right amount will mobilize and not paralyze you.