Welcome to a special edition of Sun-day Design! I am so excited to share with you early access to the next Design Your Year Event event on Sunday, January 17, 2016, 2-6pm. In this unique coaching engagement you will experience life designing tools ranging from the spiritual to the every day practical to the show me data scientific. Whatever your style, preferences or desires you will gain tools to get clear on which goals matter most in 2016, sustain the energy you need to pursue your dreams past the New Year's slump, and clear out the baggage and bad habits that keep you from being the person you want to be. What's special about this event is real talk and real tools for real people. Join other smart, proactive, ambitious people who are ready to attract more in their lives. This year's event will help you recharge your career and work-life so that you can create more love, joy, and success in the areas of your life that matter most. Use the COUPON CODE: DesignWithFriends tor receive 10% off when you buy two or more tickets. Click here to secure your seat and a bonus holiday gift now.
Last year's participants experienced new love, new businesses, improved their financial standing and identified the areas of their life where they are still feeling drained and stuck. In case you're wondering here is what a few people shared they loved most:
Tanea inspires me to take control and lead my life.
Tanea helps me fulfilling my greatest potential.
This event help me open myself up and call my dreams into my life.
I could see things in my life that require immediate attention.
Let's create new possibilities in your world too!
When you end a relationship with someone even when you wanted to end and did so on your terms, there is still a small part of you that is broken by the the very breakup you initiated. Severing ties with a partner, a friend, a home, or even a job behind can leave you feeling sad about the decision, nervous about what lays ahead because it can be worse than what you departed with, and sense of void because a part of you is gone.
In this edition of Sunday design I want you to actually plan your breakup to breakdown (in order) to breakthrough. Let's begin with where to breakup. What person or thing in your life do you need to step away from? If it's your job, for example, what is your plan to exit while maintaining a good rapport with your soon to be ex-coworkers. If you're planning to breakup a relationship, how will you maintain your personal integrity during heating conversation where each party is speaking from a place of pain and not power. Take 10 minutes and literally write a script for how those conversations will transpire.
Next I want you to prepare for your breakdown. I know you're strong and clear about why you want this breakup, however, you may have a moment of weakness where you convince yourself everything is not as bad as you thought and maybe you should stay put or go back. In those moments of stress and doubt you must have your fortifying tools ready at hand. Think about what will trigger you to go back to the very thing, place or relationship you decided to leave. For example, if you're deciding to leave your job or change your career, will your bank statement cause you to panic for lack of funds? You can prepare for that breakdown by mapping out secondary income sources. If you're preparing for the breakdown you may have after ending a relationship ready your resources for comfort from other people, take up a new hobby to meet someone else, or cherish the time you have with yourself.
The last phase is having faith that when you commit to the breakup and navigate your potential breakdown you will ultimately have a breakthrough. In this step you are reaffirmed that the breakup was indeed the best thing and you can name the lessons you learned. This may not seem like an actionable step, however, naming and claiming the ways in which you have been transformed by the breakup will help you replicate that freedom and power in other key area of your life. Clear out your house and get ready for the next Design Your Year event. More information coming soon...
I often say my son saved my life. I was born into this world focused on my academic and professional career, even as a child I was leading teams, championing women's rights on the playground and unafraid to share my voice that true to form went against the grain. I knew I was ready to change to world, what I didn't know was there are people who are here to change me and shape my life. That fire inside that's ready to protest for the right cause works in the professional or political space, not so much in the areas of relationships and love. As much as I gave my son life he gave me life too. To this day he is still the one who disrupts my world, my heart and my thinking working real magic that saves me from letting myself in my own fiery spirit.
While I have friends and mentors that serve the role of the unabashed disruptors in my life, what's really interesting is that I also have people whom I would not call friend or enemy per se, but who nonetheless grate on my nerves because they push me out of my comfort zone. In this edition of Sun-day Design I want you to find the people who will save you from yourself and push you on your path.
You like everyone else on this planet, get stuck in our own life story, naming all the reasons you didn't get that job, that home, that date, was because of someone else. In your mind you believe you have done everything in our power to achieve your goals and then work to convince yourself that any action you didn't take toward achieving that goal wasn't really important or something else mattered more. A great example is dieting. How often do you set a target weight or physical goal only to have "something else" come up and derail your plan? Longer work hours, no access to a convenient gym, not having a personal trainer, or not enough money to buy healthy organic foods are top reason for slacking on your dream body. Well it's not likely you will be able to shake yourself out of that self-sabotage thinking pattern, and this is the the time you need a hero. The irony is your savior may not be your ally or friend.
That person who comments about your ill fitted clothes, or asks you directly if you've gained weight will generate new thoughts and feelings inside, which is exactly what you need right now. Whether that person's words intentionally or unintentionally hurt you, the spark in your mind goes off and you're more likely to do something about it. This also plays out in your professional career. It's the person that asks you how long have you been in your role and why you haven't been promoted. It can also be that person who has nothing but strong words of criticism about the work you were proud of. That tinge of angst is a gift for you to look inside and see ways that person may be right. This person, is not a friend or an an enemy, (s)he is your disruptor here to call you to action. Be grateful and forgive their delivery method.
Now open your heart, disrupt your thinking, rewrite your story and claim your dreams.
Some people have a knack for finding the path of least resistance where many others feel their life is constantly bombarded with challenges, obstacles, convoluted roads and energy sucking hitchhikers. Have you asked yourself why is that the same roads often feel bumpy? Why can other people be on the same or similar road and have a completely different experience? To answer these questions think about what steps have you taken to clear the path other than painstakingly attempting to remove each piece of debris by your own hand?
For this month's Sun-day design it's time to reroute your GPS on the roads that are immersed with baggage and worries, and begin creating and choosing an easy path.
By now means am I suggesting you drop everything and walk away from your responsibilities. I'm am suggesting you look for or design an easier path to your challenges. One way is by not focusing or pouring all your energy and resources into battling those perceived obstacles. Get creative, jump over instead of busting through. The easy path may be the one you're on. You can walk that path with greater comfort and ease when you stop picking up the debris or holding on to past. Let the anger go. Another way to walk an easier path is to shift your focus from the potential danger that may be a hundred miles ahead, and focus on what is working right now. This future-focus trap tends to also be my own Achilles heel. The good news is life present me - and you - with lots of opportunities to practice.
Now back in school pursuing the next level of coaching certification I am reminded to stay focused on the present, and not create my own vortex of anxiety by paying to much attention to all the good and derailing possibilities in the future. I trust that if I stay present, living in the moment while still glancing for alignment toward the future I'll actually enjoy the path I'm on and gain more from this journey than I could have imagine. What are the easy paths you can choose to create in your life starting today?
This coming Fall will mark two years that I have brought you Sun-day designs. As my own life and career transforms, my company and coaching practice evolves too. In the past year I've taken on a bigger role at work, I am pursuing the next level of coaching certification, supporting my son's college pursuits and creating time and space for love and living. Yes living. I have decided that I crave more learning, more experience, more fun. I am diving into the dreams I created at the Design Your Year Event with even more fervor. To accomplish my personal goal of living more fully as a coach, as a mom and as a loving partner I have to shift some priorities in my life. I have committed to infusing your inbox with positive energy and the way in which that happens will change starting right now. Sun-day designs will shift from weekly to the first Sun-day of the month posts to ensure you have the best and most heartfelt content and life design tools, as I add the role of student back to my docket.
In this week's Sun-day design I want you to consider what change do you crave in your life. What areas of your life are on auto-pilot, where you're just OKAY, things are sustainable bit not fully thriving in exciting and enriching ways? You're taking the steps, going the motions, you see the results on some level but your heart is just not in it. Or maybe you love the key ares of your life, but can bigger and better in one target area if you simply recalibrate your approach in the others. Instead of journaling or reflecting this question on your own I want you to find a friend to explore this question with more deeply.
When you ask your friend the question "what change do you crave in your life" be a mirror as that person shares his/her answer(s). Repeat the list of changes the other person is craving and for each comment, ask "if that change doesn't come now what will happen to you?" If the answer to the second question is nothing will happen, then it's not a change that they deeply desired, and it's your job as a friend is to push them further. Help them find the change that will have the greatest impact. Now switch roles, your friend will now help you dive into the depths of your heart. You will know you're on track because the change you crave will be charged with a clear sense of urgency.
Shifting to monthly Sun-day design posts will allow me to pour that love into other Design You Coaching experiences and events. More information on that golden nugget coming soon...
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.