When you end a relationship with someone even when you wanted to end and did so on your terms, there is still a small part of you that is broken by the the very breakup you initiated. Severing ties with a partner, a friend, a home, or even a job behind can leave you feeling sad about the decision, nervous about what lays ahead because it can be worse than what you departed with, and sense of void because a part of you is gone.
In this edition of Sunday design I want you to actually plan your breakup to breakdown (in order) to breakthrough. Let's begin with where to breakup. What person or thing in your life do you need to step away from? If it's your job, for example, what is your plan to exit while maintaining a good rapport with your soon to be ex-coworkers. If you're planning to breakup a relationship, how will you maintain your personal integrity during heating conversation where each party is speaking from a place of pain and not power. Take 10 minutes and literally write a script for how those conversations will transpire.
Next I want you to prepare for your breakdown. I know you're strong and clear about why you want this breakup, however, you may have a moment of weakness where you convince yourself everything is not as bad as you thought and maybe you should stay put or go back. In those moments of stress and doubt you must have your fortifying tools ready at hand. Think about what will trigger you to go back to the very thing, place or relationship you decided to leave. For example, if you're deciding to leave your job or change your career, will your bank statement cause you to panic for lack of funds? You can prepare for that breakdown by mapping out secondary income sources. If you're preparing for the breakdown you may have after ending a relationship ready your resources for comfort from other people, take up a new hobby to meet someone else, or cherish the time you have with yourself.
The last phase is having faith that when you commit to the breakup and navigate your potential breakdown you will ultimately have a breakthrough. In this step you are reaffirmed that the breakup was indeed the best thing and you can name the lessons you learned. This may not seem like an actionable step, however, naming and claiming the ways in which you have been transformed by the breakup will help you replicate that freedom and power in other key area of your life. Clear out your house and get ready for the next Design Your Year event. More information coming soon...
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.