Fear is one of the greatest motivators in the world. You're either afraid of what you're leaving behind or terrified of where you're heading to. Forgetting that wherever you ultimately land will all be good. Fear of failure and its ugly cousin fear of success immobilize you even when it only makes sense to move forward. Worst of all once you get comfortable with that fake friend called fear you no longer realize when it has fully taken hold of your life.
Even as you build your best case rationalizing that things are good the way they are deep you know that isn't the case and if it were that lingering sense of doubt, deep hunger for something different, and unsettling desire for more would easily dissipate. It's time you quite the murmurs of fear and turn up the volume on faith. This week's Sun-day design is for you to follow your fear. Your place of fear may offer you the greatest opportunity for success.
First thing is trust yourself. Trust in the process of learning and growing particularly when you seem to be in a not so safe environment. Believe that your adult self will not choose an action that truly endangers you. That's not say you should go skydiving without a parachute because you trust that you land in safely a tree! This is not about having blind faith, I'm suggesting you do the work and know that some degree of failure is part of the journey too.
Next, name the worst thing that can happen. You loose your home, your job, your family, your money; whatever it is there's probably some truth to it. To make sure the fear of what bad things are possible and highly unlikely to stop you in your tracks create Plan B and C. Having a contingency plan will strengthen your sense of security and assuredness.
Redefine success by identify short-term wins and key decisions you need to make along the way. Adjust your goals and recolor your dreams if circumstances change. The idea in facing your fear and even failing as you move forward is that you're still headed in the right direction. It may take a little more time to reach the finish line but the view along the way is priceless. Fail forward this week and trust it will be fabulous!
Share your thoughts and what fear are you taking on now.
Imagine this, you're working away in the zone, loving what you do and the people you're doing it with. You're cranking, pushing, excelling and boy does it feel good. Hours in the day fly by without your noticing because you love this moment right here, right now. When you come up for air you can't believe how much you've done and energized you feel. How often do you experience a day like this? Not often enough and it's because you spend most of time focused on other people. Whether you work at home, in an office, on a stage, or on the street your day is very likely to be spent fulfilling someone else's agenda.
Even entrepreneurs find their workday is about meeting other people’s needs, their ridiculous requests and seemingly selfish demands. When you're finally able to work on your own goals and personal projects it can be difficult to get into a rhythm because your energy is zapped and there's nothing left for you. This week's Sun-day design is about finding your flow, creating the optimal time and space to work at your peak on something that's all about you.
To find your flow you have to create the space for positive energy to move in and around your life. That means you have to clear your clutter! I don't just mean the clutter of papers in your office or clothes piled up around your house, it's about clearing the blockage in your visual, mental, and physical space.
Start with your visual blocks, where do you usually work? Remove - dare I say the people and the things you don’t need around, then infuse your space with visual images of whatever inspires you. For me it’s a picture of my son, the latest books I’m reading, the weekend newspaper, and a journal. You can clear your physical space in just 5 minutes. Having a clear visual space may not immediately get you in the zone if your mind is distracted too. That means you have to clear you head of negative, disabling thoughts and beliefs. You can do this by asking yourself one question - “what do I gain by not working on this?" For example, if I put off on writing my book I can avoid sharing my work with others and having them critique my work. Once you figure out why you're avoiding your work you can face your fears and move on.
Sometimes even after you create a visual space that inspires, clear your mental blocks and still you'll find the creativity just doesn't flow. This means your physical plane is blocked too and you’ll need to literally move so the energy in your body can budget too. A good 10-minute stretch, jumping jacks, walk on the park, or vinyasa “flow” yoga can do the trick.
The challenge for you this week is to design the day and time you're going to work on you and your priorities. Get clear on what you want to do and why you've been avoiding it. Clear the clutter in your visual, mental, and physical space so that you find and embrace your flow. Leave a comment below and share what gets you in the zone too.
You don't need a fortune teller or crystal ball to see into your future. Just listen to your heart, quiet the noise in your mind, and design the the life you secretly seek. I bet you're thinking that's easier said that done! Well it's true, best way to bring into existence the life you want is to write about it, be about it, talk about it, and of course visualize it.
A vision board is just the tool to help you do that. They can work some serious magic into your life and catapult your transition from the version of yourself that merely exists to your powerful self you're craving to unleash into the world. A vision board is an excellent way to get you focused on what you need to do and experience to bring what you desire into your life. If you haven't made one for yourself I'll tell you the most important reason you want to create one now and it serves as this week's Sun-day design - the power of attraction. The beauty of the board is that it's working while you're sleep, while you're away, attracting and drawing greater things in your life even bigger than what you initially intend.
A vision board energizes and expands your dreams. Commune and play, create and converse. Get clear and see the future you're creating in the here and now. You'll be surprised by the wonderful things and people you attract into your life. Here's an example of how my vision board attracted greater connection in my own life. My board features a picture of a loving couple whom I didn't know but I felt their picture represented love and connection when I was designing my board earlier this year. At the time I had no idea that picture was of restauranteurs "The Neely's" whom own the very restaurant I recently held my mother's birthday brunch in. The power is in that event at the Neely's was that it was a place I honored my mother which in turn fostered an even deeper level in our relationship. In placing that picture on the board I fostered love in connection in so many relationships in my life this year and how awesome is that!
Now it's your turn. Once you have your vision board in place you can literally glimpse into your future. It's probably more accurate than any of future telling device you come across and since it's your own inner power reflecting back to you, it's more likely to happen and soon. Remember you're always co-creating your life's experience. Allow the guidance and wisdom to to come to you. Leave a comment below and share what future your vision board beholds.
While kayaking on vacation I found myself unintentionally competing with another couple who took off canoeing just as I eneted the water. Before I knew it my competitive edge kicked in and I was rowing faster than everyone thrusting my kayak along as my sore muscles warned me I was pushing too hard. It wasn't until I passed the totally unaware couple did a celebrate my personal triumph. I won!! I beat two pairs of hands rowing with just my own. Then I realized, this is the freaking story of my life! And I'm not sure if I really won.
Crossing an imagined finish line solo on a difficult task when we should really be relishing in the experience or asking for guidance and support is pretty true for most of us. I just know there is some area in your life where you've unconsciously determined success means doing it on your own. We'Il it's time you take a break from kayaking solo too. This week the lesson is about letting go and giving others the space to support your lead. This week's Sun-day design is to ask for help.
As you consider an area in your life where you're kayaking solo, embarking on a dilemma that you secretly cherish doing all own your own, think about how much further you would be if you allowed someone to help or show you the way. As a single mom I'm often going at things solo and for years would discard the efforts of my ex and his family when they offered their help. No more, I graciously accept their kindness. Even if you're married or dating letting go of the space in your life where you feel it's important to "win" is no easy feat! I know a lot of wives who feel winning means taking care of all aspects of raising the kids - arranging playmates, athletic teams, assuring high educational pursuits, I can go on...
This week I want you to find the area of your life where you feel you do all the work. Something you acutely take pride in where you get no help from family or friends. Now - just for this week - I want you to ask someone for help. It can be your spouse, the person you're dating, friend or foe, and ask that person to help move this area of your life forward.
Here are a few ideas to help you get tarted:
Be vulnerable, take a risk. and ask for help. It's just for one week. You may find that you actually like it. Leave a comment below on what you're seeking help on this week.
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.