Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
A symbol of renewal, transformation and new beginnings, the lotus flower is one of my favorite images. It resonates with where I am in both my personal and professional life, a place of new beginnings on all fronts. Think of the journeys you’ve gone or are going through in your life. Even when things were changing for the better – it can feel exhilarating and at the same time downright frightening!
Even during the scariest doubt-filled moments there is still great power to be gained in transformative renewal. The course to transforming your life requires courage, confidence and conviction, and the common denominator is leveraging your power within. No one can just give you courage, confidence or conviction, you have to first choose to generate that power on your own. The people around you can create an environment where you feel supported in the courageous steps you take nonetheless it’s your foot that’s stepping onto new or uncharted territory.
The big or small steps you take in transforming your life require courage. As creatures of comfort even when you’re going after something good in your life such as a new job or a new relationship, you'll often convince yourself it’s too difficult to move forward. Or you may be stuck your story of not having enough – money, education, connections – you fill in the blank… to achieve your goals. The truth is those things really don’t matter if you’re not willing to take the risk. The strength you seek is already inside you. You have to be willing harness your power from within and take that step.
Embarking on a new path or even the complete unknown also takes confidence. Think of it this way, having the courage to jump off a diving board is one thing, having the confidence and assurance to know you’ll land headfirst is something else. The confidence you need for your own transformative journey begins with building your confidence – and that you can only do with practice. You can practice building your confidence through greater self-awareness, establishing clear dreams, and using life development tools – often gained through coaching – to build your personal leadership, personality strengths, and moderate bad habits and thinking patterns. Using these tools in your daily life will give you the confidence to navigate any journey, the easiest pathway and across difficult terrains. And there will be challenges.
Throughout the challenges in particular, it’s important you maintain your conviction and faith in this whole process. Know that there are things happening and moving in your life even if you don’t see or fully understand it. This is the moment of truth, when all the work you’ve been doing in your life and on yourself is tested. You will know conviction is important when you are clear about your intent, the changes you seek and the confidence and self-awareness you’ve created in building your personal strengths - and you still feel like your life has not changed. That’s when you have to believe and trust that ultimately you will reap the reward, coming through renewed and revived.
In the Buddhist faith the lotus flower is a symbol of fortune as it grows in muddy water, an environment that gives forth the flower’s meaning: rising and blooming above the murk to achieve enlightenment. This is exactly what Louts Power is all about, transforming your life or some aspect of your life into the light and experiencing the joy in breaking out of the mold or murky waters. Even in reading this blog and sharing your experience you are evolving your life right now.
When someone’s accused of wearing a mask you automatically think the person is a fake or a fraud. Did it ever occur to you that you are wearing a mask too? Like most people you probably don’t’ consider yourself a deceptive person, and the mask you don is more likely to serve as self-protective paraphernalia. This mask in fact distorts not only how other people see you, it changes how you see yourself. The mask allows you to fool yourself in believing you are something you are not – worst of all it reveals itself as an image or inner voice that talks you out of your greatness.
This mask or disguise appears in many forms - the Inner Critic, Self-Doubter, Self-Saboteur, etc. Whatever disguise you wear you unknowingly convince yourself you’re not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. The state of being “not enough” creates a wall. This wall exists between you and others, and also within yourself blocking you from your passionate and heartfelt dreams. When you remove the mask you will see you are the wall. The biggest challenge you face in life is moving away from the illusion of the mask.
Many thought leaders call the mask your “gremlin” or ‘your dragon”. No matter the name you give it, know you are meant to change it. To wear the mask from a place of strength more than camoflauge. The challenges and difficult situations you experience in life are designed to motivate you to change your mask essentially shifting your LIFE style. The pressure, stress, and life lessons are “reasons” why you should step forward and take off the mask of self-doubt and self-deception.
As I begin to think about the persona I’m designing in my new year I’m going for Self-Advocate, Self-Love, and Inner-Courage. What character will you play?
At some point in time we ALL do this, deliberately put off the things we know we need to just do. I’m not talking about avoiding the dishes or washing a load of clothes. I mean the deep, tremendous, monumental steps we need to take toward the dreams, goals, and aspirations we hold for our lives. These steps – whether big or small are just the amount of effort or pressure we need in order realize the results we say we want.
Your dream may be to become a rock star, save more money, have more peace at home, or improve your relationships with the people at work. When you ignore that initial nudge to address important issues the pressure intensifies like some galactic Jedi force.
Think about the pressures you're experiencing right now that's compelling you to take the very action you're hesitant to do. Maybe it's the difficult conversation about money you need to have with your partner, the self-advocating negotiation for a promotion you need to have with your boss, or the frightening medical prognosis you wish you never heard. The pressure you feel is designed to move you through, providing you the space to develop and evolve so that you reap the rewards and gain the conviction to know that the pressure was really a gift.
Yep, I said it! The pressure you feel can be a gift. It moves you forward, gives you courage, and challenges you to be your best self. The wonderful thing is you don't have to try to figure out how to face life's pressures alone. Working with a Design You Coach gives you the support and tools you need to work through the pressure…and unearth your diamonds.
As a coach, I help you gain clarity in the goals you’re pursuing, ascertain the color by which you see life and begin to shape the cut in how your personality, leadership, and thinking style can enable or impair your pursuits. Most importantly I help you measure the carat called success so that you know how to leverage life's pressures in the future and discover your own gems. The 4Cs is a guide to appraising the quality of the diamond on your hand and the areas of your life too!
Every diamond, just like your fingerprint is unique and distinctive. Your life, your goals, your experiences are like no other. This is a core principle for Design You Coaching positioning my practice as a ideal life design partner for you!
Well, why not? Who else do you have control over? The impact of DESIGNING YOU goes beyond achieving your target goals. When you DESIGN YOU, you take back power over bad habits, doubt, fear, guilt, and anxiety that keeps you from stepping into your full leadership potential. When you are fully leading your life and not simply following someone's else directive you have more to give and share with others.
If you don’t believe me – just ask the people you live and work with. When you’re feeling fully charged and at the top of your game, others around you feel it. The same goes for when you’re feeling angry, worried, or victimized - others can sense your low vibrations. DESIGNING YOU benefits us all because when you expend your energy and talents on activities that are most meaningful to you, you actually recharge and reenergize, and by virtue help others in pursuing their vision and dreams.
Some of you may worry you’re being selfish if you put your needs and wants first. Self-love is part of serving, supporting, and loving others. If you’re constantly worried and stressed, or experiencing that gnawing angst inside because you resist sharing your goals, vision, feelings, or perspective; you create a wedge between you and the people you say you love, care about, or lead. Unbeknownst to you, quieting your voice stifles greater success and connection in your life. This dynamic actually reminds me of the story of Superman. It wasn't until Superman embraced his true calling (his thoughts, beliefs, and dreams) that he could he truly serve others, and as a result experienced greater love and connection.
That’s not to say you get your way every time – and that’s not what this is about. DESIGNING YOU is about sharing your voice, your heart, and your dreams while co-creating solutions and experiences that honor other people’s designs too.
What ways are you DESIGNING YOU and honoring others? Share your stories!
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.