Do you know the answer to this question? How would your partner or most recent date respond to this question about you? When you think about the ways in which you show up your relationships it's easy to see all the things you do right because you count your intention as much as you merit your delivery. You give yourself credit for effort, for trying to give your love, support, compassion, loyalty, trust, etc. You may even be mindful of your triggers and blind-spots that show up as bursts of anger or depression, frustrated with the other person's lack of support, compassion, loyalty, or partnership. As we close the Hallmark month for love, and in this week's Sun-day design I want you to take stock in how do you love.
More than who do you love, that's only one part of the equation. The bigger question or lesson to learn is why you attracted this person to your life in the first place. Ultimately that relationship - for no matter how long our in it - is designed to show you the parts of you that need to grow. Here's an exercise to help you figure out how you love. Take a piece of paper and divide it in three columns. In the first section, list everything you love about your partner, or the things you did enjoy about the other person your most recently dated. Appreciate that list for just one moment.
Next list the very things you complain or are concerned about when it comes to your partner, love interest, or most recent date. You will notice some things on your list are small and petty but over time the negative feelings they create explode over time. Now is the fun part. In the third column list all the ways you are guilty of the indiscretions listed in column two. For example, the person you dated was financially irresponsible, wasting well earned money on frivolous purchases in your eyes. That may be true, and ask yourself where are you frivolous too. Is it with your diet, your time, your talent? As much as you want to be loved despite your shortcomings, as how do you love your partner in the midst of theirs. Leave a comment and share the way your current love relationship is a reflection of you.
The life we experience is designed to help us grow. My wish is that you learn from me as much as I learn from you. Share your life lessons and let's build together.