Speak The Love You Want

Yes! We are living in the single month of the year that is truly dedicated to love in all its simplicity, depth, and glory. Many people anticipate the month of February dreaming of esoteric romantic love. Before we explore romantic partnership, let’s first look at the love you surround yourself with. Think about the love you share and may not necessarily acknowledge as such with the people you see day-to-day. I mean everyone – your fitness instructor, fellow school parents, the neighbor whose name you don’t even know, your kid’s teachers, the local grocer, your work colleagues, and dare I say even your boss. 

Oh, the workplace; that’s typically the last place you visualize when you think of love and it’s also the place where you’re probably most in need of love, support, or at a minimum some positive vibes.

Since I've declared this the year of the BRAVE I have a courageous challenge for you to take on. The moment you're talking to someone and feel intense anger, anxiety or frustration in dealing with situation at the office, I want you to say aloud “this is love”. I know! It’s simple, direct and at the same time downright annoying and scary. It's also freeing.

The reason I want you to say, “this is love” is because in doing so it will shift the energy and open up the space for you and the other person to have an actual dialogue. Like most of people, it's likely you don’t openly disclose when you’re feeling hurt or sad. Instead you go into attack mode, and the other person readily counters. The dialogue you create with the other person an give you an internal emotional shift. For example, this project is love, this relationship is love, this job is love, and don't forget the person you’re dealing with has his or her own passion and frustration with you too.

Here’s a little script on how this can play out:

Me: Blah, Blah, Blah, you’re not hearing me.

Other: Blah back to you, my perspective is more important. (Repeat lines 1 and 2 five times…)

Me: Ok, this is love

Other: Say what!!?

Me: This is love. It’s simply a statement for me to say as I take a moment to think about what I am really seeking here…

Other: Well I don’t know about love…I just want my…

Me: Try it, you can feel free too :)

Ok, so that’s how things can play out in a perfect world, nonetheless saying “this is love” will inevitably press pause in a contentious conversation.  Test the waters and see where it goes. At the very least you can tell the other person I’m trying this technique from this life coach at Design You Coaching…at least you can laugh together at that!

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